What it is like Being Married to a Law Student

Hello everyone!

Today we have a fun post from a different point of view- my wonderful hubby is guest posting! I have had several people ask for more posts on what it is like to be married while in law school. I thought it would be interesting to see the other point of view- what is it really like to be married to and to live with a full-time law student? I am sure there are lots of spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends out there who wonder what it is like to live with and deal with a full-time law student. I successfully bugged my husband until he agreed to do this post.

A little background: my husband and I got married the summer before I started law school. We were still very fresh newlyweds living together for the first time when I began my 1L year. It has not always been easy to balance marriage and the demands of law school and I know it has been hard of my husband. To his credit, he is has been a trooper. He puts up with my constant studying, listens to all of my whining and complaining about classes and makes sure I eat and sleep during final exams. I am beyond lucky to have such a wonderful partner beside me throughout this journey!

Now without further ado, I turn the keyboard over to my wonderful hubby!



Hello blog-people. I am the husband of this situation. My wife won't stop bugging me to write this so I finally caved. Maybe it will help future law student husbands or wives or boyfriends or girlfriends. I have 5 tips for being married to and living with a law student. It is not a walk in the park but I am still happily married after 2 years so it is possible.

1. Find a Hobby
Law students are busy all the time. My wife literally reads all the time or she is at school. She has an office in our spare bedroom and she disappears into it for hours on end. I have learned that she needs her space and I need to find another way to occupy my time that's not hanging out with my wife. I went back to grad school online to get my masters so now we study at the same time. I also play video games a lot... because she is always reading. My best advice is to find a hobby to fill your time when they are busy studying and to give them their space to get done what they need to get done.

2. Make them take Breaks
My wife is way to high strung and type-A for her own good. It is not unheard of for her to stay up until 3am getting things done or baking cookies (she is a weirdo). There are times I can see her working herself into a frenzy and it's not good for her mental health. Therefore, I make her watch a movie or go for a walk or eat real food. It is not good for anyone's mental health to work constantly and one thing you can do to help your law student is to keep them from over-working themselves.

3. Be Supportive but Don't Try to Relate too much
Nothing sets my wife off more than people who have never been to law school trying to relate to what law school is like. If you haven't been through it, apparently you can't understand it. I gave up on that during her 1L year and now I just nod, smile and say "yes dear" or "that sucks dear" when she is whining about law school stuff. There are plenty of ways to be supportive without trying to relate; I make sure she has food during finals, I keep the coffee drawer stocked and I try not to bug her when she's studying. I also let her get a third dog during 1L so that she can have all the puppy cuddles when she is stressed (and we love our rescue pup).

4. Go in with your eyes open
It is not going to be easy. Know that going in. Law students are stressed out and not always super fun to be around. They are going to talk about cases and laws that you could care less about. Living with a law student is not always fun... my wife gets stressed and exhausted and angry sometimes. She doesn't have time to do laundry some weeks. I just try to remember that she is going through something really hard and I just need to support her and help out. It can be very hard to watch your loved one struggle... I hate seeing how stressed and anxious she is during exams and I wish I could make it easier. It is hard to be the sole breadwinner until she is done with school. But I think it is all worth it. I am proud of my wife for pursuing her dream and I love telling people that she is going to be a lawyer. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy 3 years and I knew it wouldn't always be fun but we are getting it done and our marriage is doing just fine. As long as you don't expect it to be sunshine and butterflies, you won't be super disappointed.

5. Remember it is only 3 years
Law school doesn't last forever. Someday you get your spouse back. Granted, then you are married to or are living with a lawyer and they are better at arguing but at least they won't have homework anymore. Just keep in mind that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully my wifey only has 2 semesters left!

Good luck future law student spouses!

Huge thank you to my wonderful hubby for guest posting!!!


2 comments

  1. So glad you/your husband posted this! I’m old...er (I’ll be 34 when I start next fall) and it has definitely crossed my mind how my husband will feel when I start!! Although we are both military (me prior military...he’s still in) so we’re used to long hours and long months without each other, but it’ll be different being in the same house yet still a world away!

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  2. I'm so glad you posted this! I looked high and low before starting law school for any advice on being married in law school. I mostly saw a lot of "don't." It was so discouraging, so thank you for posting this!

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