Married at 22- Why I Love Being a Young Wife

I am 23 years old. I have been married for over a year. I cannot count the number of times I hear, "You're married? Already? How old are you?" when people see my ring. I get those looks of pity like they think I truly don't understand what I am got myself into. One time a person started jokingly calling me Jessa Duggar because they thought it was a religious thing that my family had made me court and get married before we could even kiss. Someone asked me once if we had a pre-nup because getting married young ends so often in divorce. To all those people who think we were crazy for getting married young and feel the need to give me these kind of comments, I have a few things to tell you.

First, to those who say we don't know what we are got ourselves into, I have been with my soon-to-be husband for almost nine years. That is longer than the average 30-year-old dates before they get married. I know him better than anyone in the world and vice versa. We made it through high school and college together, we have seen each other at our best and worst for years, we have witnessed each other grow and change and are still in love. He is still my favorite person in the world. We did not get married on a whim of young love; it was a long-term relationship and we both have talked about marriage and what we want out of life extensively. We were/are prepared to make this marriage work and last. We are not in this for short term, we are in it for life. We were engaged for two years, which is plenty of time to figure out what we wanted and to make sure marriage was truly what we wanted to do. Just because we are young does not mean we are incapable of making decisions... if we are old enough to chose a career, aren't we old enough to chose a life partner?

Second, to those who said I was throwing away my life and I should "find myself" before tying myself to a man, you are so wrong. I did not throw away anything. I gained a person to share my life with and build a beautiful, crazy life with. We travel together, explore together, learn and grow together. Why not experience life with the person you love beside you? Why not have a person there to cheer you up and support you every step of the way? What is so wrong with that? As for needing to "find myself" before settling down; I can find myself and be myself single or married. I know who I am and what I want out of life. So does he and he supports me in everything. Being married isn't a prison sentence, and it does not change your innate character or cause you to shut down. I will still grow and change and he will too. The best part is that we get to do it together and explore every bump, curve and change in the road together.

Third, to those who say we should have dated other people to know what we like, I say, "oh well." I didn't know that my now husband would be my first and last kiss. I never planned to only date one person and end up marrying them... But when you meet the right one, there is no reason to throw it away just to play the field a bit. I also saved myself a lot of heartache and bad dates, so no complaints there. I fell in love when I was 15 and I haven't fallen out yet. Many years ago, it was normal to marry your high school sweetheart... and marriages tended to last a lot longer then... so I just don't see a problem with marrying the person you fell in love with no matter how young you may have been. Maybe I am just a romantic at heart, but I believe that sometimes the first is the best. I also bought the first wedding dress I ever tried on so maybe that is just me and well, that is OK.

Fourth, I did not give up anything to marry my love and I will not waste my 20's. I am still going to law school, I will still travel the world, I will still make mistakes and do crazy things and enjoy my 20's. I will just do all of that with my best friend beside me every step of the way. All I see is gaining a partner in everything I do and a support system... no loss there.

Lastly, to those that give me the pitying looks, I actually pity you. Feeling the need to look at me that way for doing nothing more than marrying the love of my life when I was 22 is a bit ridiculous. Stop worrying about me and my life and worry about your own a bit more. For hundreds of years, people throughout history got married young and yet had more lasting marriages than we do in today's world. So what is wrong with me doing something that has worked so well in the past?

Marriage is great... I come home everyday and hang out with my best friend. I love nothing more than making him a batch of gluten free cookies after a long work day and he wakes up and makes me breakfast every Saturday, We go on vacation and have a blast. We spend Friday nights sitting on the couch watching Disney movies and try to out-quote and out-sing each other. We still go out with friends and get slightly wasted and wild. We make big decisions together and lean on each other when times get a little tough. We parent our furbabies for now and dream about the future... together. Don't get me wrong, we fight, we get annoyed and things aren't always butterflies and sunshine. Marriage takes work... lots and lots of work. Marriage takes so much compromise. You have to put your marriage first. You have to want it every day... basically that scene with Noah and Allie in The Notebook when she is trying to decide to stay or go? That's real life. It's really really hard but it's worth it if you want to spend life with that person.

Getting to spend your life with someone you love is a beautiful thing. I am so happy I got married at 22. I have shared the most wonderful year of marriage, love and laughter with my best friend, my soulmate, my husband. Getting married young simply gave us all that many more years to enjoy life together and I simply can't wait. There's really nothing wrong with that. I am a young wife and I am loving every minute... even when that involves dirty boy socks on the floor.

So here's to my sweet, 23 year old husband... I love your red curls, dimples and ability to always make me laugh. Thank you for understanding my need to always carry a to-do list, keeping my sane during law school and enduring my crazy every single day. I will never completely understand why you chose me out of that Freshman communications class but I will forever be grateful that we get to spend this life together.

Tips for Preparing Your Law School Applications

I feel bad... I sometimes get so caught up in law school and blogging about that, I forget to blog about the process that got me here. Law school application season is upon many college seniors and I am sure you guys would like some insight!

Law school applications are not a fun process... I was so tired of staring at LSAC by the time I was done. Despite this, it is a critical part of the process and you must just buckle down and get through it. I have outlined my suggestions to make law school applications easier and more effective. I was accepted into every school I applied to with scholarship including two full tuition scholarships so they should work!

Before I get started on tips, make sure to register for a LSAC account (Law School Admissions Counsel) as they control everything and that is where you will make your applications. Additionally and hopefully, you have already taken the LSAT or have it scheduled for early Fall. Without a LSAC account and a LSAT score (or upcoming administration date), you cannot really start the law school application process. Law school applications generally open in early Fall.

1. Start Early
Just like with anything big, the earlier you start the better. I tried to get most of my application work done the summer before my senior year of college so I didn't have to worry about calling for references, writing my personal statement and my resume during my Fall semester. I had to take the October LSAT due to studying abroad in the May of my Junior year so I spent that summer studying for the LSAT and getting application stuff ready to go so when the applications opened in the fall, I could submit immediately without last minute stress.

2. Edit, Edit, Edit Your Personal Statement
Your personal statement is so much more than just an explanation on why you want to be a lawyer or whatever it is you chose to write about. It is pretty much a writing sample. Use good grammar, draft it several times and get as many eyes to look over it as possible. I sent it to so many people for grammar checks, spelling checks, and overall impressions. I had my college English professor help me with it, my legal advisor, a local attorney and my best friend (another law student). The more input I could get to make it the best piece of writing I possibly could, I did. I wanted it to be without flaw and written in the most poignant way possible. I did not let anyone sway my decision on what to write about because I felt that was the most important part- it was a way for the admissions committee to get to know me and get a feel for me. Beyond that, I accepted any and all help to make it as strong as possible. There is no shame in asking for help and guidance on a piece of writing that is basically you law school interview.

3. Stay Organized
The application process can be pretty messy and stressful- especially if you are applying to multiple schools. I found that organization was key for keeping myself from getting stressed. I applied to 8 schools so there was a lot to keep straight. I first made a folder within my computer for law school application materials. Inside that folder was another folder for each school I was applying to. Inside each schools folder, I had a list of what was required for the application (they all vary slightly), a tailored personal statement for that school, a list of which references I would use, a breakdown of what their previous year medium LSAT and GPA and any other materials I would have to turn in or that mattered for that school. This helped me to never send the wrong personal statement to a school (for example: listing Ohio State inside the statement when I was sending actually it to Indiana University) which would have made my application less impressive. Also, it helped to keep my mind straight knowing that everything was organized and in one simple place. I also kept a running to-do list on my desk of what I needed to be doing for applications so that I never forgot to finish something and I could have the satisfaction of crossing things off and watching the list shrink. Organization is key!

4. Get Help with Your Resume
Law school applications ask for a resume. My resume prior to then was something they made us do in high school and was no longer professional enough for my needs. I sought help in my undergrad career services office to improve my resume for law school. I highly highly suggest doing this. My resume went from crappy to uber professional in like two short meetings. I finally had a professional resume I could be proud of. You want to be proud of everything you turn into a law school applications and making sure to update your resume with some professional help would be a key part of that.

5. Find Quality References and Give Them Some Time
Most law school applications require written references. I used some of my favorite professors from undergrad. It is important to pick a quality reference who knows you well- not just as a name on the class roster who got a decent grade. If you come straight from undergrad, you should likely use some professors or advisors. If you are coming to law school from the workforce, references would likely better serve as your boss or co-workers. The two professors I used I had multiple classes with and I knew very well. I asked them early for a reference so that they had plenty of time to complete it without being rushed and if they got a little slow, it wouldn't push my application back or late. Give yourself and your references plenty of time to make a quality reference that will serve you well.

6. Save Money
Applying to law school is stupid expensive. It's been a while since I did it but I think that registering for LSAC is like $160, the LSAT is around $150, each application sent is $30 and some schools add an additional fee. It's ridiculous. However, it is a fact of life so have some money saved and put away for these fees so you don't go broke just from applying. Also, don't apply to schools you would truly not attend because it will be a waste of $30.

7. Pinpoint a Desired Location
It is important to know where you want to attend law school and to apply to the law schools in that location. I have a friend who applied to the University of Maine, paid the $30 fee and got in but she never had any intentions of going to school that far from home. I personally think that is a waste of $30. I knew I wanted to be in Northwest Ohio so I applied to all schools within 2-3 hours and that was it. If you don't already know where you want to be, you have more flexibility but it is still best to truly research out a location, what the city is like, living expenses, etc when thinking that may be your choice of where to attend law school.

8. Make a Target List
Once you have a location in mind, make a target list of schools to apply to. My advisor told me to pick a few safe schools where I know I would get in, a few contenders where I would likely get in but not a sure thing and at least one or two reach schools where it may be a long shot but you never know if you will get an acceptance letter. I did this and while I was accepted to every school, I chose a middle contender school where I was a strong candidate and they had given me the best scholarship package.

9. Turn Things in ASAP
The perk of getting everything done early is that you can apply the second applications open! Scholarship money is usually given on a first come first serve basis to qualified law school applicants so the earlier you apply, the more chance of scholarship. Even if you have to wait to take the Fall LSAT (like I did), you can have everything else done and turned in and the moment LSAT scores are released, your application will fully process and be complete. This is definitely an "early bird gets the worm" type of experience so don't procrastinate!

10. Hurry up and wait... without stressing
Once everything is turned in the worst part begins.... the waiting. Some schools are very timely with responses (I got my first acceptance within 4 days of applying and it was my top choice school/where I ended up attending) and others will take forever (my last response came in May after I had already graduated from college). While the waiting is very stressful, try not to worry too much. You have done the work, did your due diligence and now it is up to the admissions committees. As long as you have done your best work and turned in the most well rounded and quality application you can, you have done well and will likely be accepted somewhere.

Best of luck future law students!! 

Other Pre-Law Advice: 

How I Got a Full-Ride Scholarship

How to Quell Your Nerves When Starting Law School

The first few days (and weeks) of law school I was honestly a nervous wreck about 75% of the time. I felt so inadequate and like I was flying completely blind. I studied constantly, barely slept, compared myself to everyone else and was a mess. Eventually, I figured out how to case brief, read faster, answer a cold call and still get some sleep in the process. As things get easier and you figure out what you need to do and how you need to do and the stress and nerves slowly melt away. To avoid some of my mistakes and make your first few weeks easier, here are some tips on quelling your nerves in the first few days/weeks of law school.

Friday Five

It's been awhile since I did this... to be honest I just forgot! I start my 2L year of law school on Monday, this weekend my husband and I are enjoying the last few days of freedom by going to the lake and a BBQ and I finally finished a few DIY projects around our house. It has been a great week and a great summer but I am ready to get back into the swing of law school. Without further ado, here is my Friday Five!

1. DIY Marble Laptop Cover

For anyone who follows my Instagram, you might have noticed my easy little DIY laptop cover. I have been wanting a Marble laptop cover but they only make them for MacBooks and I have a Dell. I got a little creative and figured out my own way to do it! I used simple Marble print contact paper and simply cut it to size and covered my boring old Dell laptop. It looks so fancy now! I love it! Here is the contact paper I used; it was easy to cut and stuck really well to my laptop without air bubbles.

2. Painted Fireplace

Before

After

I finally convinced my husband to paint our fireplace white. We don't have a lot of natural light in our living room and our focal point, the fireplace, was so dark. Painting it white gave it new life and brightened the whole room. I LOVE it. It was simple and cheap but makes such a huge difference in the look of the room. We also purchased this fake electric fireplace which gives the look and atmosphere of a wood fire without the mess and hassle. 

3. Friendsfest

Why did I just now find out this exists?? In the UK, they literally recreate the Friends set and let fans act like the group for a few days; they have a hairdresser giving people "the Rachel" and you can even get Central Perk coffee. I do not know why this doesn't exist in the USA but it should because I will be there in a heartbeat. Friends is one of my favorite shows of all time and I would be so darn happy to do something like that. 

4. Garth Brooks World Tour

I am quite honestly the biggest Garth Brooks fan ever. I literally named my dog Garth Brooks in his honor... I am not kidding. I have every CD, I know the words to literally every song he has ever released and I finally saw him live in concert about 2 years ago and it was a lifetime dream come true. He is finishing his North American tour on October 7th in Indianapolis and I want to go SO badly. Fingers crossed we get tickets!

5. The Lion King 
Public service announcement to all 90's babies: The Lion King is getting re-released on DVD and Blu-ray in stores soon and my childhood is flooding back because it is seriously the best. That was my absolute favorite Disney movie as a little girl and I was adamant about wanting a pet Lion for a long time.... I think I will have to settle for dressing my Golden Retriever up as a Lion for Halloween this year and sing the Circle of Life every time she walks in the room... seems like a quality plan. Too bad she's too big for the Simba lift.

Have a great weekend!

How to Maintain a Law School-Life Balance

Acclimating to life in law school is not easy. It is nothing like undergrad and the difference takes some getting used to. Tomorrow night I am going to be a part of a 2L student panel to give advice to my schools new 1L class during their orientation. One thing I am going to stress to the new students is a school-life balance and how important it is to maintain. It may not be easy and it will likely take a few weeks to establish a good balance between law school and life but it is very important. I suggest starting right from the beginning with establishing a solid school-life balance.

My first few weeks of 1L year were trying... I had a hard time finding a balance between my school work and my normal life. It was about a month into school when my husband sat me down and let me know that I was letting law school take over my life and he was worried. From then on out, I made a point to maintain a better balance between school and life. I wasn't always successful- around final memo time or exams, law school took over. But the rest of the semester, I worked to maintain a good balance between school and life and I think my mental health benefited greatly as did my marriage, family relationships, and friendships. It is easy to get caught up in law school and letting your life revolve around it in the first few weeks/months; if you make a school-life balance a priority from the beginning, it will be easier to maintain in the long run. Here are my tips for establishing a school-life balance right from the start.